It’s safe to say that my dating life, or lack there of, has been greatly influenced by my long list of mentally drawn up requirements. He needs to be the right age, the right look, the right body as well as the personal characteristics I’m looking for. I know what I want. I know how I like it. And any changing from this very stringent list of prerequisites is sure to end in doom. It’s not that I’m not to open to going with the flow, but I need to know that at least some of my needs are fulfilled, otherwise what’s the point of even embarking on dating in the first place? I don’t want to waste my time with a boy that I know from the start simply won’t make the grade. Some would say I’m not even giving the spark a chance. I say I’m giving it the best chance possible by only meeting people that I deem to be suitable for a spark to grow with.
Many may disagree with this method of cutting out the dross but there are too many men to work through and there is definitely not enough time for dating pleasantries. It’s not that I haven’t momentarily stepped away from my dating 101. I dated a chap from up north once after I drunkenly agreed to a date and was wooed by the dulcet tones of his accent. He wasn’t the shape I wanted, was far too fair for my liking and, being very shallow about the whole affair, was not of model looks. I left him standing in the middle of a club swaying due to his beer greed, grabbing my coat as I left and being thankful for an excuse to leave someone where the spark hadn’t even glowed dimly. That was three weeks of my life I couldn’t get back. Had I stuck to my carefully refined list of requirements I’d have never agreed to a date in the first place and would have saved myself a lot of time – and the cab fare home.
I’ve stepped aside from my vigorous requirements once again in the past few weeks, dropping my minimum age limitation a little. Actually, and more honestly, I’ve practically thrown it out the window. I don’t go below 26 normally and this one’s a virile 21. However, problems have already reared their ugly heads and whilst he may look and possibly even be the dream guy, I doubt he’s at the right stage of life for what I’m wanting. Instead, by not sticking to my guide, I’ll just have a few wasted weeks of unneeded angst as my heart runs off with an idea which in reality will never work.
It’s not that I wouldn’t love to just be attracted to everyone – it would make life a lot easier. But the fact is, i’m not, and unless a guy has some of the traits my heart looks for he’ll instantly fall into the ‘friend’ category. Of course, the love tick list isn’t for everyone and for those who can happily flit from one relationship to another; I’m very happy for you. However, for me, a man where spark is incredibly important and has only been apparent in four men I’ve met in my entire life, I can save much time by not even considering certain guys. You wouldn’t interview someone for a job if they didn’t have the correct qualifications would you? And here, we’re not talking about a job; we’re talking about a lifetime. So whilst I’m willing to let my guard down, put myself out there and genuinely say that I’m looking for love, if you don’t tick my love list boxes then you wont’ be getting beyond date one, let alone the threshold.