There’s been a lot of debate over Grindr, and it has an ongoing prejudice that its simply a means to an end to get laid. And of course, in many ways it is. Even if you’re looking for something longer term there is of course going to be bed bouncing at some point whether it’s a one hour meet or something that develops into much more. However, I’m tired of the perception people get as soon as you mention Grindr that it can’t be used, as many internet dating sites are, to meet guys and take it a little further than a simple wham, bam, thankyou man.
I suppose there is always the inclination to use a GPS driven app to find meets. I mean, we’ve all experienced the morning horn and when you log into Grindr, there’s a guy 100m away and he’s willing to come over, there is that irresistible temptation. But whilst Grindr offers a quick fix, there is the same temptation whether you’re using Gaydar, Manhunt, or the plethora of other GPS driven apps such as Scruff, Qrushr and Bender..you’ll probably just have to go out of your way a little more if you want that meet.
We all know that I’m on most networking sites, not necessarily to get my rocks off, but to just meet guys. I don’t live in Central London, I’m not a frequent visitor to Soho. I’m not big on the party scene and I don’t go to any gay only groups. So actually, meeting regular guys in my area isn’t that easy. If I’m going to date someone then I’d prefer them to be closer to home than the other side of London so that whenever I want a movie night, or a kiss, or just to see a smiling face, I don’t have to spend an hour and a half of my life travelling. It’s not that I’m not willing to do so for the right guy, it’s just nice when your guy lives within easy, last minute dating reach.
I’m not going to preach and say that I haven’t used Grindr in the way its stereotypically utilised – I have. But I’ve also met some really nice guys off there who I’ve dated on and off with the view of something longer term. Guys who I wouldn’t have met in Soho because they don’t go there. Guys who I could phone at 9pm and ask if they wanted an impromptu cinema trip or a drink down the local because there wasn’t an hour’s trek first.
Whilst Grindr is of course a hook up tool, depending how you use it, it can be far more. If you’re chatting to guy who has NSA in his profile and the first pic he sends shows that he’s rather well endowed – well you can’t be surprised when it’s only a hookup on the cards. But if we bother to scratch past the NSA instant hookups and the buzzing messages with Meet?, Shag? Free Now? opening lines, I reckon we can actually find some guys looking for something a little longer term.