The Sex Factor

It’s pretty fair to say that gay men can be rather sexually rampant. Testosterone is a powerful hormone, and get two pumped guys together and there’s little that can stop them. Our historically troubled past has also contributed, with gay men unable to live openly, sexual encounters became ones of dark alleyways and sordid meets in heaths and forests. Whilst modern day allows for many gay men, especially those in London, to lead open and normal lives, testosterone keeps-a-pumping. And add to the mix iPhone apps for on-the-go encounters (Grindr, Bender, Qrushr, and the newly discovered Jack’d), possibilities for hook-ups are easier than ever before.

I won’t deny, I’ve had a few one night, and one afternoon stands. Coming out, moving to the great lights of London, and suddenly discovering that you’re far from the only gay in the county, let alone the village, had my teenage hormones flying. But as I’ve grown up I’ve become more self disciplined, and am now searching for my McDreamy. Previously thinking I was a stone hearted individual, its been a discovery in itself to realise actually, I’m a complete romantic.

Sex however, is a funny thing. It seems to be that you either click with someone sexually, or emotionally. You never seem to get both at the same time, with the same guy, in the same instance, and it’s driving me slightly mad. I previously wrote about NSF (No Strings Fun) and the reality that this concept, for me anyway, simply isn’t true. And it’s still proving to be problematic. Like a boomerang, Mr Fun is back in my life. He’s like a hard toffee…it seems like a good idea at the time, a tasty treat, but before you know it you’ve cracked your teeth, feel in pain, and can’t get the lumps out of your mouth.  It’s far more trouble that it’s worth. I know it’s not going anywhere with Mr Fun, especially when he’s the one calling all the shots, and now I’m over this past summer’s stupid obsession, it’s slightly more bearable. But the problem remains, if he turned around and asked me on a date I’d be there in a shot, but he’s not going to do that. However, I let him into my life, into my bed, and continue to torment myself. And as I lay there, after the fireworks have faded, after he’s leapt up, pulled on his pants, kissed me goodbye and disappeared without a backwards glance, I continue to wonder whether it’ll ever be possible to find great sex and a relationship all rolled into one gorgeous guy.


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